I’ve Spent Countless Hours Talking to Kid Gamers about Online School during COVID — here’s what they have to say.

Joe Chee
7 min readDec 15, 2020

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Joe Chee is a youth wellness and gaming ambassador. With nearly 5 years of experience in this emerging field, he founded the nation’s first physical after-school/summer program teaching positive social and health behaviors (ukatsu.org) for gamers. Despite the economic impacts of COVID-19 shutting his business down, he’s continuing his work as an online influencer as a resource for parents and children to “Play with a Purpose.” (Twitter: @joejoechee)

My second full-time job as a moderater for an online voice, text, and video chat community of over 500+ students and gamers has given me insight to how students 8 to 18 years old — particularly those attached to video games — are handling this turbulent time as a student during the pandemic. I’ve logged hundreds of hours this year alone chatting and gaming with students, hearing their thoughts and feelings about how they’re handling COVID-19, and I think it’s important for me to share with you parents and educators what I’ve observed and heard.

With nearly 93% of American households participating in some form of distanced learning this year (Census.gov), it’s likely that your child could echo some of the points I highlight in this piece. Before we dive in, I want to begin by saying education during COVID 19 is a tough problem to tackle for any school district and household. The point of this article isn’t to blame anything or anyone, nor is it to alarm readers that our youth are “falling behind.” I’m simply here to share — and maybe offer some suggestions and solutions I’ve found for our student gamers.

Friends and Even Casual Acquaintances are Missed Most

Photo by bantersnaps on Unsplash

It’s no surprise that kids miss seeing their best friends, but what struck me was how much they yearned for the casual exchanges and people in their lives. They miss the small talk with kids they’d never hang out with or call outside of school, but can chat with each week about how their favorite sports teams are doing or which piece of Internet gossip is the spiciest.

They enjoyed meeting new faces they can get to know slowly throughout the school year while retaining a sense of mystery for their lives outside of school.

And yes, they miss the experience of crushing on another student in class and sharing that with their closest of friends, even if they may never summon the courage to ever talk to said crush. (I don’t induldge in asking about this, I just moderate a LOT of messages a week.)

SOLUTION? Friend Pods and Safe Online Groups

“Friend Pods” — I’ve talked to several kids who belong to a strict friend pod group, and they’ve really enjoyed it. The key word being strict, in order to protect the health of everyone involved. Friend pods, or selectively allowing your children to see a specific group of friends while you work at home, can be an effective way for your kids to socialize in person and even have some normalcy in the form of play dates, game sessions, and sleep overs.

Online community groups — Not to shamelessly plug here, but I host an online community for gamers to meet new acquaintances through gaming and events that I host and supervise. A few of these kids this year have become best friends over my Discord community by grouping up nightly; and they wouldn’t have even met in person as they go to different schools. If you’re interested in letting your child join this supervised community, email me: contactjoechee@gmail.com

They’re Actually Looking for Guided Structure/Programming too

Life without after-school programming and hobbies has been tough for many families that decide to stay at home. Back when I ran my youth program, I would listen to parents and sitters tell me how jam packed their schedules were — school, then dance, then tutoring, YouTuber classes, swim lessons, each child capable of owning their own loaded calendar.

With most programs or families understandably holding off until things get better, kids are left with a lot of unstructured and unsupervised time.

SOLUTION? The Online After School Program

There are lots of resources emerging and businesses pivoting for the pandemic. Here’s a list of online programs provided by Parents Magazine (some free, some paid) to bring back a little structure. I can’t vouch for their effectiveness as I don’t personally have kids to enroll them in myself. If that’s something you’d be interested in me researching, let me know!

Here’s my weekly calendar I post on my community Discord for all members to see and look forward to.

Of course, I too offer some sort of structure through my Discord community for gamers. Provided free of charge for all families, I run weekday group fitness classes, group play sessions, tournaments, and even a competitive wellness/esports program that practices twice a week and competes on some weekends.

I also suggest sitting down as a family to plan out your month with weekly rituals, themed dinners, and game nights. Like YOU when you’re looking forward to your next paid vacation, the kids love looking forward to something after a tough school week.

Academic Subjects are still a Bore, but even more so with Online Classes.

At some point, every generation has their, “BUT WHEM AM I EVER GOING TO USE THIS??” moment in class. When kids ask that this year, however, they’re usually questioning this alone in their own homes. Even iconic lessons like dissecting a frog have lost its novelty and are now delivered in same way as a bland HR and training video module.

Just last week I was asked by a child how they could possibly stay motivated learning subjects they had no interest in. Funny enough, they wanted to learn more about topics that might apply to them in the future like finances and how to do your taxes.

Here’s proof:

Yes, your Fortnite gamer was curious about what a mortgage is.

Students in 2020 have an increased exposure to the information online. They’re starting to worry about life’s tougher adult problems sooner than you and I had. For many high school students, following their influencer’s footsteps of financial success while being able to explore their passions is a challenge that weighs heavily upon them.

Solution? Home school for the whole family

With the whole Internet encyclopedia at your finger tips, why not choose a topic that interests both you and your child to learn about? With “YouTube University,” you can find a new, fun subject to learn about as a household.

And no, it doesn’t have to be about finances if that seems boring too. Exploring philosophy, animals, movie/film analysis, how to train the family dog, etc. are just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to what you can learn online these days.

More than ever, your kids are learning mannerisms from the Internet.

Back when I worked with children after school, I couldn’t help but notice how much a child behaved in a blended combination of their parents, school mates, and their favorite YouTubers.

More than ever, and especially for gamers, this ratio of behavioral traits has seemed to skew majorly in favor of online influencers on YouTube and Tik Tok.

Few children have in-person social time to form their mannerisms and behavior, so it’s up to you the parent to be one of the most influential figures in their lives during COVID-19.

TommyInnit, by far the biggest new YouTuber I’ve heard of the kids talking about since the pandemic started. Don’t be too quick to judge — he’s just a typical 16 year old playing Minecraft — and VERY successful. Naturally, he’s become a pretty influential figure too for kids 8–18.

SOLUTION? Lead by example. And check which influencers your child likes to watch.

It isn’t easy, but to lead by example and to continually check up on who exactly your child is watching and interacting with online is key. This is why I dedicated my life since my mid twenties creating an environment where kids learn to interact with respect. My YouTube content tries to promote positive mannerisms through entertainment and educational videos, minus the “rage compilations” and gaming toxicity.

Luckily, I’m not the only family friendly content creator out there. Spend time asking your child, “Who do you like to watch on YouTube?” and you’ll get a sense of who they’re learning from pretty quickly.

Conclusion: Don’t Worry, your Kids Aren’t Getting Dumber.

Photo by Jeswin Thomas on Unsplash

In fact, it’s quite the opposite. They’re being pushed information faster than any generation of students before. They care about their education, yearn for socialization, and just want to know what it’s actually like being a freshman in a real school building instead of their bedrooms.

It’s up to us parents and educators to support our resilient kids as best we can. Our role is to listen, advise, forgive, and positively influence as they occupy their temporary schools, your home.

Joe Chee is looking to make wellness education for gamers and parents a full time job once again. If you like what you’ve read, please feel free to share this article so he can grow his reach. Additional support can be contributed through donations on BuyMeaCofee.com

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Joe Chee
Joe Chee

Written by Joe Chee

Youth Wellness Ambassador for gamers. Founded the nation's first after school program teaching wellness, respect, and empathy through gaming. Parent ally too

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